Tuesday, June 30, 2009

How to know when you’re getting old

Everything hurts!
What doesn’t hurt, doesn’t work.
The gleam in your eye is the sun shining on your bi-focals.
You feel like the morning after, but you haven’t been anywhere.
Your children begin to look middle aged.
You join a health club, but you don’t go.
A dripping tap causes an uncontrollable urge.
You have all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You need glasses to find your glasses.
You turn out the light for economy instead of romance.
You are in a rocking chair, but can’t make it go.
Your knees buckle but your belt won’t.
You back goes out more than you do.
Your house is too big, your medicine cabinet is not big enough.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of all the candles.

Author unkown

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